I have a life that has been marked by fear and anxiety. It’s been a part of me as far back as I can recall. God has spent a lifetime trying to break me of these things and it seems this is the year I might finally get there.
I yearn for control. I always have. I cling tightly to the idea of having control to prevent bad things from happening. It’s never worked. I stress and exhaust myself hanging onto this thread that constantly breaks and leaves me free falling into the unknown.
Because the unknown is inevitable. Reality is full of pitfalls and the unexpected.
2020 has shown me in a way I can no longer ignore that there is only one thing I can trust no matter what. God holds the future. He alone knows what is ahead. He alone holds the thread of reality. The only thing I can control is the depth of my faith in Him.
That is the sole desire of my heart. I have been broken enough to know that He can piece me back together. The only way to security in the craziness of this world is finding my rest in Him and Him alone. Letting go of the facade of control and security and placing everything at His feet.
I am on the edge of jumping this cliff knowing He will not let me hit the ground. With Him I will fly, and though I may not know the path or destination, I will land exactly where I am meant to be.